Autumn

Something to rival Fat Jew ?

SHIT MY DAD SAYS: This is a twitter account where this 29-year-old dude who lives with his 73-year-old dad just writes down all the shit he says and it's fucking hysterical.

http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays

Manhattan Vintage Clothing & Antique Textile Show 2009

This is an amazing annual vintage show that the Metropolitan Pavilion hosts every year. More than 85 top vintage clothing and antique textile dealers. Countless numbers of incredible pieces to buy or simply gawk and drool at.

Metropolitan Pavilion 125 W. 18th St. btwn. 6th & 7th Aves.
Friday, October 9th 1:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
Saturday, October 10th 11:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.
$20.00 admission fee (it's worth it).

SCREW THIS MOVIE

LaGuardia is the REAL DEAL. They should have filmed it at our school and cast only students whom attend. Plus, we're getting no credit for providing the means for them to even create this movie. We're poor and can barely keep our studio classes going. If anyone cared, a percentage of the proceeds would be going directly to our school.

Bored to Death

Bored to Death is a new HBO comedy series premiering September 20th at 9:30 p.m. It stars Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson, and Zach Galifianakis. Schwartzman plays a struggling novelist with a drinking problem. After getting dumped by his girlfriend, played by Olivia Thirlby (she rocks), he decides to post an ad on Craigslist as a private detective. Ted Danson, best known for his role on "Cheers", plays his boss, who has recently discovered the joys of pot. Zach Galifianakis plays his deadbeat comic book illustrator best friend. I'm excited, to say the least. Plus, Jason Schwartzman (who in the past portrayed one of my favorite movie characters of all time in Wes Anderson's "Rushmore") fucking rocks.

Fall Tube

Premiered September 9th. Wednesday's @ 9:00 on Fox.

Ecstatic

$35.00 in advance, $40.00 at the door. If you wanna pre-game with Mos himself you can pay $150.00 to cruise on the Zephyr before the show starts. Open bar. Gangster.

Go.

School started today. Speaking of school...

Fat Jew/Team Facelift/Baron Von Fancy/Murder She Tote

Fat Jew, a.k.a. The King of Brunch, Jew Diamond Phillips, Jewther Vandross, the bi-sexual/ugly Rob Lowe, the Sultan of Schmooze, Young Ted Danson, Jewbix Cube, Bobby Lobster, Baby Gap, Jewnafish Salad, is an MC in the New York-based rap group that goes by the name of Team Facelift. Famous for songs such as "I Wanna Have Your Baby" and "Lotion in the Basket", what more is there to say? They're almost as amazing as Fat Jew himself. He is, in fact, a fat Jewish man. Coming to you live from the Upper West Side, he's famous for his antics which he so publicly displays on his twitter. He's completely enamored with lounging in bathtubs full of assorted items such as cheeseburgers, cooked spaghetti, DVD's, etc. He has strange obsessions with Who's the Boss? and Golden Girls, Steven Seagal, and Fran Drescher. He also loves thongs, whether they're made of leather, denim, or fettuccine. His favorite words are "gangster" and "epic". He's constantly perplexed with the depth of his bellybutton, always pushing the limits of what he can exactly fit down there. Last but not least, he's known as The King of Brunch because, well, it's pretty self explanatory. He does brunch everyday, 7 days a week. But what's a brunch without the key ingredient? What might that be, you say? Cold cuts, of course!!! Wherever Fat Jew goes, there are always endless cold cuts involved. I was lucky enough to spot Fat Jew myself a couple weeks ago outside a bar in the West Village, and let me tell you, he's even more amazing in person. He is the epitome of a true New York City character. Which brings me to Baron Von Fancy. "Baron Von Fancy is the most elusive and sought-after artist/designer in the entire world. Nay, the universe. The New York Post once described him as 'The enigmatic face of the art world that is shrouded in a brilliant and mysterious shadow.' He is rarely seen, yet his impact is felt by all. He designs his garments while locked in a fortress made of live doves, often while getting hand-bathed by incredibly handsome heterosexual men. He burst onto the scene in 1999 when he unveiled his now-famous ostrich sandals at a cocktail party in Berlin. In Baron's world, luxury is an all-consuming passion. Slip on a smoking jacket, sip a cold glass of rare and expensive imported breast-milk beside a roaring hearth, and ask yourself 'Am I fucking fancy enough to indulge in the true swank of Baron Von Fancy?'" The Baron makes paintings, creatures, patterns, photographs, sculptures, and clothing. It's unclear whether the Baron himself is actually a member of Team Facelift or not, (which I suspect he probably is) but whoever he is he definitely loves them. They are often the center of his work, usually the photographs, which are pretty fucking comical. Sometime this winter Fat Jew began tweeting about his "new tote-bag line", appropriately deemed "Murder She Tote". The two are connected in such a way that Baron Von Fancy lists the patterns that appear on the totes as his artwork on his website. The bags are mediocre, but I recently purchased the only cool one, and it fucking rocks. The pattern is Andy Warhol's Marilyn Monroe portrait, except there are little faces of dogs in place of her boobs, and it says Murder She Tote on it. Yeah. I'd be jealous too. But basically that's the story. Here are all the links you'll want to check out after reading this:

Fat Jew's Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/jewthervandross

Fat Jew's Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheFatJew

Team Facelift's website: http://teamfacelift.com/

Team Facelift's Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/teamfacelift

Baron Von Fancy's website: http://www.baronvonfancy.com/

Baron Von Fancy's Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/baronvonfancy

Murder She Tote's website: http://murdershetote.com/

Facebook group supporting Fat Jew's wrongful termination(s): http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=4188763415

p.s. Fat Jew has been atrociously booted from Facebook on three separate occasions, so if you want to friend him, he's listed under the pseudonym Joshua Onassis.

Kanye West to design a line for Gap?

Kanye West has been interning at Gap, but the interweb is saying there's a possibility the man himself might be set to design his very own line for Gap. Read it about it here on The Cut: http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/07/delightful_kanye_west_rumored.html

Sock Sandals

Ummmmm.......WTF??? I'm seeing these everywhere now and I really don't get them. I don't understand the concept. Are they supposed to look like socks that you cut holes out of??? They're so fugly...what's the appeal???

Jeggings

I just don't get it. First of all, this trend brings up the question of whether leggings as pants are socially acceptable or not. Personally, I say never, unless a treadmill is involved. I guess it's tolerable if one's ass is covered by a shirt or whatever, but still. Honestly, if you want to wear jeans, just wear jeans, not ugly leggings that will probably give you a camel toe anyways.

New York Mag on NYC Prep

^Hahahahahaha.

http://nymag.com/arts/tv/features/57763/

This article is brilliant (you should read it) and puts a very realistic POV on the show. They explain how the show is marketed as "a high-stakes drama about the 'elite of the elite'" but how it is actually "a comedy about the silliness of the rich"...so true. I love how they explain the way the girls speak, "a hybrid of Valley-Girl-speak and East Coast boarding school lockjaw, meant to communicate that a person in blasé, unconcerned, cooler than you". Personally, my favorite part was when they discussed how Kelli and this other chick are no longer friends because one of them didn't invite the other to their birthday. The article goes on to discuss the "Real Housewives" shows, and it really is just genius. Everything they say is spot-on, LOL hilarious. They even quote one of Jersey's housewives praising Bernie Madoff in saying that although "his country shit on him, he still loves his country, and that shows character." Are you kidding? We showed him mercy, he's lucky he's still living. I'm convinced more and more that all of these people might actually be mentally retarded. Later it lays out the Peterson legacy (PC's family), which includes a former CEO of Lehman Brothers, along with the founder of Sesame Street. They say "he feels humiliated, degraded, and hurt by the show." Awwww, poor PC.

SATC Open Casting Call

Want to play a model, celebrity type, upscale socialite, urban clubgoer, gay or lesbian, international type (Middle Eastern, Arabic, Asian, European, British) or professional soccer player in the Sex and the City sequel? Then it's your lucky day! The movie is holding an open casting call for SAG and Non-SAG actors alike Monday, July 4th at the Metropolitan Pavilion.

125 West 18th Street between 6th & 7th Avenues
SAG: 10am - 12:30pm

NON-SAG: 1:30pm -4:00pm
If you can't make the call you can mail a recent picture and contact info to: sexandthecity2@gwcnyc

Tru Blood

http://www.trubeverage.com/

More Brüno

Despite being extremely disappointed in the GQ interview, I was very much pleased to see Brüno in The Hot Seat in Time Out New York last week. It's effing hysterical. Some of my favorite questions:

Janice Dickinson asks: “Who is the world’s hottest model?”
It vould be Tiger Voods. He looks great in all his golfing outfits, und on top of zat he’s President of America.
Rainn Wilson asks: “What color is Tuesday?”
Vell, Tuesday is mein colonic day, so for me it’s every color of ze rainbow!
Joan Rivers asks: “Who the hell is Brüno?”
Who is Brüno? Zat is fine coming from you. You’ve had so much surgery ze question should be: “Vhat is Joan Rivers?”

To read the enitire interview, go here: http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/hot-seat/75989/bruno-interview

Also, just for kicks, here's Brüno circa early 2000's:

Aufiderzein

The 6th season of Project Runway premieres August 20th at 10:00 p.m. Moving from Bravo to Lifetime this year, it will be taking place in L.A. as opposed to NYC. Make it work!

I Really Don't Get It

NYC Prep-to-Vomit

Week 2 was filled with an abundance of awkward dates, parties, kisses, etc. PC, as usual, took most of the note-worthy quotes. While talking about the prep school scene, he states that, "Everyone just has casual sex...you realize that it's juvenile and obnoxious...everyone's just a pompous asshole." Wait...and you're not? However, the quote of the week was when, while confiding in his therapist about his impatience, he said, "I flush the toilet before I'm done peeing." Um...

Week 3 was a good week. Sebastian decided to visit Kelli in her modest Hamptons mansion over the holidays. Upon learning that Kelli was Jewish, Sebastian said this, "Oh, you celebrate Hanukkah? All 7 Days?" I mean, I think most people know that there are 8 days, Jewish or not. As the conversation continued, the topic moved to her dog, who we learn receives acupuncture on a regular basis...really? Later in the episode, the dog passes and we get to join them at the funeral. After Kelli's mom says a few words, she asks the hired help if they would like to say something. Upon receiving no response she follows up with a singular, "Habla?" That's not offensive at all...then, of course, before leaving it is necessary for the dad to tip the burial service workers quite heftily. Moving on, we get to follow PC on a trip to Mexico for some R+R with his friend JP, (notice the identical initialed names) a native of Mexico, whom he describes to be "the most beautiful Mexican ever", and whom I also suspect to be his lover. An extremely homoerotic theme encompassed this section of the episode. He spends lots of time discussing JP and their relationship, reminiscing of old times, and they share many romantic shots with each other, whether it be lounging on the beach or roaming the streets. I don't quite know how to explain it, but it was definitely apparent that it was there. He says that when they get together they get "playful" and have an "amazing time" and usually end up "half-naked drunk on the bed". I kid you not. When they hit the clubs there's a scene when PC sits down next to JP and picks up a drink, asking if it's his. JP says yes, and PC drinks from it, although it really isn't his. JP tells PC and he get really angry, proclaiming how he know he is a germaphobe, and asking, "Do you know what I could have gotten?". I secretly wished that the drink had been roofied and infested with herpes and mono. Later, while continuing to talk about JP, he says, "I don't know any Mexicans from New York except...delivery boys." I was left speechless. The quote of the week came, again, from him. While PC was partying it up in Mexico, Jesse went and visited her friend in Palm Beach. She wouldn't stop nagging Jesse about how she thought her and PC should be together. Upon returning to the city, Jesse and PC met up and she told him about this. PC then proceeded to compare dating Jesse to marrying a chimp. Hmm...

Week 4 was mediocre. Camille hosted a dinner party and invited Kelli, Sebastian, Taylor, Jesse, and PC, obviously something she was asked to do by the producers. Jesse didn't show, PC brought a chick, and Taylor brought Cole, clearly another producer cue. The quote of the week came when PC asked everyone what they wanted to, for lack of a better term, "be when they grow up". When it got to Taylor, she said, seriously, "I want to be a licensed elephant trainer.".....................................Ok. Later in the evening, PC learns that Taylor is a vegan and proclaims that, "If you were a veggie burger, I'd totally eat you." and Taylor responds saying, "I respect that, because if I was a veggie burger, I'd probably eat myself." Later in the episode, PC and Jesse meet up after PC stood Jesse up the other day. Jesse asks PC if he would like to redeem himself by bringing her a napkin or three, and in true PC fashion, he brings back a stack of about 1,000 napkins. Then we get to visit Kelli and Camille as they discuss the events of the dinner party. Kelli is pissed because PC was being a dick to her, and acting as if he had several years on her. She goes, "Cause you wear tight pants and you say darling...that's maturity?" My Thoughts exactly.

Vassup!

Brüno graces the cover of GQ:

WTF ???

What's up with this new head half-shaved trend ?

Kelis

Selma Blair

Alice Dellal

Carmen Electra

Cassie

The Out Net

http://www.theoutnet.com/

An AMAZING site for deals on designer duds from past and present collections.

The September Issue: Anna Wintour and the Making of Vogue

Coming August 28th

Brüno: A Film of Epic Proportion

SEE THIS MOVIE.

NYC Prep

Well, I can't help putting my two-cents in about this show everyone's talking about. NYC Prep recently premiered on Bravo. It chronicles the horribly sheltered lives of six utterly naïve, disgustingly pretentious teenagers living on Manhattan's upper east and west side's and attending the most exclusive of private schools. I was forced to sit through the premiere and it makes me sick to my stomach that I now almost feel it an obligation to continue on with the show. I really thought I was going to hurl everytime some of these kids spoke. First of all, there is the exception. Her name is Taylor and she's the only one that attends public school. We get to watch her 'struggle' as she desperately tries to maintain her reputation amongst all of these multi-millionaires. There's Kelli who's completely generic, and Camille, who looks like an alien and claims she is 'obsessesed' with getting into Harvard, but then proceeds to admit that, "of course" she owns a fake I.D. Then there's Sebastian, who feels the need to flip his hair every sixteen seconds, which also happens to be the same number of girls he claims to 'hook-up' with on a weekend-ly basis. There's also Jesse, who there's really nothing to say about except for the fact that she's extremely unfortunate looking, and, not to be harsh, but basically the definition of fugly. It's sad because despite the amount of plastic surgery she will eventually get in the future, she probably won't be able to change this fact. Last, but certainly not least, my favorite, P.C. He's actually so perfect. First of all, he looks like a big chubby baby. Secondly, he mimicks the wardrobe of Chuck Bass. Thirdly, everything that comes out of his mouth. Some of my favorites: "On the upper east side, money flows like the wind." and "The recession is my bitch." Jesse also makes some notable quotes. She talks about how "messing with P.C. would be like social suicide", something I'd personally be honored to commit, and also claims that if you often wear clothing under $20.00 you are considered "downtown". It's just so glorious and I can't wait for all of these kids to get rejected from all the colleges they apply to because of this show.

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

1947-2009

1958-2009

Chillin

Me in LA with Dustin Hoffman. You know, just a casual lunch.

HAREM PANTS ARE NEVER OKAY !!!

Harem pants, otherwise known as drop-crotch pants, have been showing up on all the spring runways for quite some time now. Everyone's doing them: Chloe, Alexander McQueen, Betsey Johnson, Phi, Proenza Schouler, Miss Sixty, Nicole Miller, Elie Tahari, etc. However...IT'S NOT OKAY. Like "they" say, if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too ? NO. This trend only worked on MC Hammer, where they were then labeled "Hammer pants" circa 1980-something. And what happened to him ? He went bankrupt !!!

Another tragic trend making a comeback this season is the jumpsuit. Romper-style I will accept with reservation, but those full-length ones...what goes through people's minds ?


Put the two trends together and you come up with this disgusting excuse for an ensemble:
Really ? Do you want to look like you're wearing a giant adult-sized diaper ? Puke and rot...

Farewell, Astroland

After years of talk, our beloved Astroland is officially gone forever as the City Planning Commission recently voted in favor of a plan to redevelop Brooklyn's Coney Island. NY1.com says, "...the 19-block plan creates 4,500 housing units as well as restaurants, hotels, shopping and performance spaces, and that the project will create 20,000 construction jobs and more than 6,000 permanent jobs." They also say that, "A 27-acre amusement and entertainment district with housing and hotels is also planned for the site." I'm sure the 'amusement park', if you can call it that, will be a commercialized, shitty mess, and will pale in comparison to what was once the home of NYC's only roller coaster, the famous Cyclone. No matter what, Coney Island will never be the same, nor will its annual Mermaid Parade, and everything else that came with it. Here is a look at the atrocities they have planned for the 'new' Coney Island:
Read the article at NY1 here: http://www.ny1.com/content/top_stories/100886/planning-commission-approves-coney-island-redevelopment/Default.aspx

Jimmy Choo + H&M

Jimmy Choo is set to design a line of shoes, bags, accessories, AND clothing for women AND men, dropping at H&M stores everywhere November 2009. Read all about it on The Cut: http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/06/christmas_just_came_early_jimm.html

Do You Wanna Get Frosty With Me ?

The Hangover

See this movie if you want a good, plain laugh, but don't get too hyped up by all the people talking about it on the train and in the line at the grocery store.

Stuck In My Head

Raekwon

My beautiful best friend Ellie was lucky enough to spot Raekwon downtown the other day and he was nice enough to pose for a picture with her.

Adam Lambert Pulls a Clay Aiken

American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert graces this month's cover of Rolling Stone. The article, titled Wild Idol: The Liberation of Adam Lambert, is actually quite interesting. For one thing, I'm an Adam fan. He should have one. The reason he didn't is because of his sexuality, which the article addresses, and the ultimate winner, Kris Allen, ended up getting the middle-American vote. Read about it here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,520989,00.html. Like Clay Aiken, Adam, the runner-up, came out post-Idol in the article. "I'm proud of my sexuality. I embrace it. It's just another part of me." Speculation began when pictures of him sucking face with an ex in drag surfaced on the web. "Going into Idol, I assumed, 'OK, people are going to talk'. I mean, I've been living in Los Angeles for eight years as a gay man, I've been at clubs making out with somebody in the corner. But photographic evidence? Didn't count on that. Wasn't ready for that." He says he was inspired to try out for Idol after having a "psychedelic experience" with "certain funguses" at the infamous, eccentric Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert. The article also chronicles his childhood, as well as his where his infatuation with elaborate costumes and black guyliner came from.

p.s. The snake heading towards his crotch is rather questionable...

WanGap

CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund finalists Alexander Wang, Vena Cava, and Albertus Swanepoel are set to make an appearance at the 5th avenue Gap store near 54th street at 10:30 a.m. June 16th to mark the release of their lines for Gap. Read about it on The Cut: http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/06/meet_alexander_wang_tomorrow_a.html

The 3 B's Looses an Accomplice

NYC 5th avenue department store Henri Bendel has announced that, as a result of the plummeting economy, they will no longer be selling clothes. This summer they will begin to focus solely on accessories and beauty products. In addition to laying off 8% of their employees, they will be giving up one of their 3 floors. Read the article from the New York Times here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/01/business/01retail.html

p.s. I heard through the grapevine that loads of the clothing they're getting rid of is going to T.J. Maxx.

63rd Annual Tony Awards + LaGuardia HS

Because my school, the Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music and Art and Performing Arts, is totally and completely amazing, we have been fortunate enough to have recieved a block of FREE tickets to this Sunday's Tony Awards. When we got the announcement over the loudspeaker during 9th period, everyone in my class ran out of the room and a stampede of equally flamboyant students proceeded to ambush the hallways down flights of stairs to the guidance suite where they were handing out said tickets. Every police officer and dean in our school was present because of the excessive pushing, shoving, and in some cases, hitting, that took place. There must have been 100 students in the probably 300 square foot area. There were tears of triumph, as well as tears of defeat, but, overall, it was a truly authentic "Fame school" moment.